Colby C. Wang, Rat Bastard. AKA Colby "Now fired!" Wang.

Dateline: December, 2016.
RE: Montana State Hospital, Warm Springs, MT.

Montana State Hospital.
Montana's Forgotten Suicides. 

This, the new blog, soon to come, blogspot.com.

This still to be formally founded blog project will take a concerted look at the plain fact that for decades, the state of Montana has either been one of if not the one state with the highest rate of suicide rate in the nation. A very distubing status that Montana yet again achieved in 2015: Numero Uno. This fact in itself has attracted more then a reasonable degree of attention from Montana media, but not in such a manner that there has ever been serious consideration for the causations underlying this specific history. It is one thing to highlight variously emergent resources available to the public when it comes to suicide, as in Hotline numbers and governor sponsored contact information in the context, but another thing altogether to take on the task of exploring just why in the hell Montana citizens kill themselves then citizens of any other state.
Even when some of the state's primary media resources were provided with jump start material to go after this story, they backed off like a pack of sneering hyenas.

Afraid, most likely, of shaking up the status quo hereabouts; journalism gone bad. 

In this regard, we the staff of PJ Reed The Arizona State Hospital and Patient Abuse will again do whatever it takes to delve into the matter as it still stands, with particular regard for recently exposed and still emerging corruption in the state of Montana's overall public health care system, and the associated fact that funding specific to mental health services lags far behind services in other areas of health care. 

And as personified in well known Montana traditon, the relationship that the pull your up by your own bootstraps mentality of traditional Montana cultural mentality plays in furthering indifference and neglect that undeniably contributes to this ongoing crisis as it still stands in 2016. We have our work to do, yes, but already we can see as bright as day that this is going to be one monster of a good story.

A story beginning with the sordid presence of one:
Colby C. Wang, M.D.
Or, more succinctly:
Colby "Now fired!" Wang

As it should be. And should have been. Because it was a good 18-19 months ago that this Rat Bastard was identified as who and what he is. In relation to which we the BLOG took good faith action is seeking to draw the attention of Wang's, employer, The Montana State Hospital. And, as usual in terms of how this always goes (quite frankly), because those individuals employed at said hospital and most in a position to remedy the matter blatantly refused to do the right thing. Thus permitting the harmful impacts of Wang's ineptitide and associated abuse of his entrusted authority to continue unabated until we the BLOG were forced to go through it all over again. All of it.

And while we are still researching to precise stick that broke the proverbial camel's back in this particular debacle, the plain fact is, that this doctor met his fate in direct relation to the filings we the BLOG submitted to Montana Department of Health and Human Services. That's right. Sometime in late October, 2016, Wang was fired. Thus earning this new writing projects first official nickname.

                              Colby "Now fired!" Wang

First encountered in early summer, 2015, yet another highly questionable licensed psychiatrist employed in one the nation's various state hospitals, The Montana State Hospital (MSH), Warm Springs, MT, this man accrued an investigative file no less then 2.5" thick and maintained by the good folks with Montana Disability Rights, a non-profit entity required by federal law to investigate reports of violations under state and federal law in the context of disabiity.  This record was complied during the entirety of his seventeen months of employ in Montana, beginning with his being hired by the Montana Department of Health and Human Services and appointed as a primary care physician at MSH, and his finally being fired in October, 2016. But only after the unwillingess of Hospital officials to do the right thing when they first had clear eveidence to the effect. Which is where we come in. We are still amassing out data base and associated evidential materials about the the particular Rat Bastard's now proven ineptitude, but to date there is no shortage of this stuff.

Because somebody had to do something. And nobody else would. 

Indeed, as in Arizona, we are today doing this on behalf of persons affected by serious mental illness across the board, in Montana and beyond, because- you guessed it- somebody has to. Sadly, but not suprisingly, over the last eighteen months we have sought to compel a number of Montana based mental health care advocacy resources to take a good hard look at this state's sole long term public mental health care facility. Only to find- again, just as we did in Arizona circa 2010 and on into 2015- that none of the state employed individuals best able to have addressed this Rat Bastard's misconduct refused to do so.

Putting it on us.

As famed author Clifford W. Beers put it in his seminal text, A Mind That Found Itself  (first publication 1905): 

"Point me to injustice, and allow me do the rest."

This article must remain short, for we are still setting up out new office, but it should serve to give fair warning to what comeing next in terms of PJ Reed The Arizona State Hospital and Patient Abuse's newest investigative project.

IN CLOSING: By the way, "Dr." Wang. You can run. But you can't hide. Welcome to the realm of guerrilla journalism, asshole.

See you in court. 

paoloreed@gmail.com

Last Article?

"Mental illness is not just a matter of health. It is a matter of humanity, in which we all have value." 
         Jason Deshaw. August 10. 2016

Even if I don't make it out of this, myself affected in my own right by serious mental illness, and the associated struggles that I personally deal with on a day to day basis, my work to date has always been about compelling others to "do the right thing." Has never in that sense been about me, this project, outside of my own trials and tribulations as a patient in Arizona's sole long term public mental health care facility, and the relationship that I have even todeay with the ones still hospitalized there (and any newcomers there, as well). One way or the other, again- even if I don't make it out of this- I will continue in whatever way I can to call on anyone of reasonable conscience to take a long moment and consider the need, the very real need, for American society in general to work its ass off in terms of diminishing the abject discrimination(s) that have historically futhered the presence of grossly unjust and substandard health care pratices so graphically illustrated by very recent history at The Arizona State Hospital. 

For in fact, I believe that I will will within 24 hours either pass to the other side, a transition that I very familiar with in terms of thinking and sentiment, or be returned to a state hospital or other like facility (and you are goddamn right it will not be the Arizona State Hospital) via legally mandated standards of care. 

I have, in fact, been re-hospitalized on no less then two occasions since my February, 2012, discharge from ASH. I have never determined whether my time at ASH has much of- or one hell of a lot of- direct relationship with my ongoing struggles with anxiety (which only arose after I become an ASH patient) and enhanced post traumatic stress disorder (where in the past my issues with PTSD were limited to the abuse I suffered as a child, I today have dreams far too often about the fear I dealt with when engaged in doing the right thing as an ASH patient, and the related retaliative efforts of ASH administrators and their counter parts in clinical services to shut me up, fear as a matter of plain fact of being murdered or otherwise brutally harmed). No matter, however. My life is mine to deal with, and just as I have always tried, I will to the best of my ability hold no unjusitifed vehemenence towards anyone not as evil as the ones running ASH.

Because they have long had it coming. To willfully engage in furthering the sickening mistreatment of persons highly at risk of abuse, negligence, and societally embedded discrimination is indeed a crime against humanity itself. This applies not only to the seriously mentally ill population currently residing coast to coast in America's public mental hostpitals, but also to at-risk children, and the elderly across the board.  

And today, as it appears that I may be on the road to more inpatient mental health treatment, this on the basis of good faith concerns of mental health professionals familiar with my state of mind and emotion at this time, I only wish that my work has in fact made a difference. 

Yes, many have to date assured me that my efforts have been central to thus far applied "reform" at ASH (for lack of a better word), but I know that there is far more to do, regardless of whatever I have brought to the table over the last four+ years. My idea of making a difference cannot be quantified in any capacity. So long as I know that I doing the right thing on a day in day out basis, I am doing something right. 

Much of this hardly matters to me at times like now, though, for I am in relative psychiatric crisis, as it stands with respect for diagnosis of major depressive disorder and associated suicidal ideation, so I therein have other things on my mind right now. I will as always roll with it to the best of my given strengths and ability. One way or the other, my spirit in the basic sense of symbolic representation of human interests will always remain. As it has with respect for other similarly dedicated human rights activists.  

  

And, in context, with direct respect for the fact that I have spent at least some time in mental hospitals other then ASH, I feel it is of note that to date, I have not been compelled to become a voice of dissent in relation to such facilities. ASH is almost but not quite unique, a particuarly monstorous example of human society's most graphics shortfalls when it comes to public health care across the board. Deeply disturbing depravity that forced me in no uncertain terms to initiate and follow through with my decision to bring scandal to light, as a requisite means to see that the issues most at stake are addressed and abolished once and for all. And while I may have done okay, all of us can as well, and likely do far more... If that is, one has what it takes. 

I wish- not so much hope- but wish that my work will continue. As in, that I come out of this in better condition that I am today, as I write this. 

Big thanks, as always, and one way or the other, to each and every person associated with the effort to bring Arizona's sole long term public mental hospital up to par with established medical standards. You are down to the last of remarakble character and beauty.

And you know who you are.

paoloreed@gmail.com 

Saturday, July 23, 2016

II) ATTENTION MARK BRNOVICH, ARIZONA ATTORNEY GENERAL.

As to the undeniable fact that criminal discrimination against persons affected by disability underlies the substandard care practices and conditions in Arizona's sole long term public mental health facility

INTRODUCTION

Disability rights are civil rights. This is clarified by the dictate of the 1990 Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA). Each and every client-consumer (patient) at The Arizona State Hospital (ASH) is disabled as per state and federal law, and therein deserving of the full protections of the ADA's extensive provisions.

The  Arizona Office of Attorney General (OAG) bears direct responsibility to investigate and commence a process of meaningful accountability with respect for any known violations of civil rights occurring within the construct of the Arizona's public health care system, and this most definitely applies to the overall function of ASH. The ongoing substandard care practices and conditions at ASH- which have been openly exposed in this blog and national level news reports aired by ABC Ch. 15- very much qualify as said violations of ADA, and even the US Constitution, most significantly with regard for the civil rights of the ASH patient community. Failure of OAG to take action in defense of the ASH patient community's civil rights qualifies as only one more example of state sanctioned discrimination against the ASH patients across the board, and as such, requires federal oversight by the Department of Justice's Office of Civil Rights.  

Assistant Attorney General, Joel Rudd who works under the direct authority of Arizona's actual (elected) Attorney General, Mark Brnovich, has long served as ASH's primary in-house legal counsel. His role in providing legal counsel extends to the administrative operation of ASH, and in this sense, it is safe to assume that this man has always been at the proverbial table and therein played a role in administrative decision making at ASH across the board. I contend that this applies to each and every proven element of the administrative ineptitude and outright malfeasance known to have imposed harm to the health and wellbeing of ASH's seriously mentally ill and disabled patient community.  Even if my own allegations specific to my personal interactions with Rudd are for whatever reason deemed less then believable, this fact is indisputable.

Always at the table.

100% aware.

Absolutely complicit.

Given that Rudd- an active staff member of OAG- has in his own right  been complicit in condoning graphic violations of state and federal law, including but not limited to the provisions of the ADA, I find it deeply shocking to know that his current boss, Mark Brnovich, has yet to investigate this specific issue as it stands. This does, in essence, illustrate a far wider realm of unlawful abuses of power and related breaches of the public trust then I have to date focused on in this blog. wherein the state office most responsible for civil rights is actively involved in allowing for such violations within the Arizona's public health care system.

At a minimum, I believe that Mr. Brnovich immediately needs to meet his given obligation to ensure that OAG staff have no connection whatsoever to violations of law across the board. In a context of the scandal at ASH, by investigating and taking Joel Rudd to account with respect for the known wrongdoing at ASH. I will say again that Rudd is and has long been involved in furthering the substandard care practices and conditions at ASH, most clearly in my experience by engaging in unlawful misconduct in his own right (when he represented the interests of ASH in hearing that I formally requested in the AZ Administrative Court and overtly prioritized those interests over the civil and human rights most at issue in those cases), and most simply by ignoring deeply illicit issues that I know he has always been aware of.

Rudd's misconduct is representative of a very real need for not only his superior, but also the Arizona and American Bar Association, to take robust action in bringing about answerability as to the how and whys underlying his unethical behavior. As in, disbarred and appropriately disciplined to the full extent of the letter of law 

I will also share yet again my initial impression(s) of this man's countenance when I first interacted with him at ASH, which in time compelled me to characterize him as "The Mortician" (a phrase I have utilized as the Rat Bastard's nickname since the inception of this blog). Likewise, following the formation of the ASH Human Rights Committee in late 2012 (which only occurred after I formally demanded said formation as per the law by submitting a legal memo to former ADHS Director Will Humble in late spring, 2012), members of that board experienced a similar impression, and therein have taken to calling Rudd "The Angel of Darkness." I find this pattern slightly amusing, but also quite disturbing; that an individual entrusted with providing optimum legal services in the context of public health would repeatedly spawn such impressions when interacting with persons who encounter him at work, there in the walls and fence lines of an insane asylum.  

I have said it before.

I couldn't make this shit up if I had to. 

BELOW. FROM THE JULY 11, 2016 ARTICLE: I) ATTENTION MARK BRNOVICH. ARIZONA ATTORNEY GENERAL.

"And indeed, as illustrated by this Rat Bastard's (Rudd) grossly depraved disregard for Miss Mott's tragic death (said "bad thing"), I am convinced that at least one member of the highly entrusted staff of OAG is continually being allowed to engage in failing to serve the interests of Arizona's seriously mentally ill and disabled client-consumers at ASH. Persons disabled as per state and federal law, who are highly vulnerable to negligence and abuse, and who- on the basis of disability- far too often have no means of speaking for themselves, which I contend allows and in fact encourages Joel Rudd to blatantly defy his given responsibilities, in direct complicity with ASH administrators and clinical staff. This occurs despite the shared responsibility of Rudd's immediate supervisor, current Arizona Attorney Mark Brnovich, to ensure that his staff fully abide and comply with their given duties, as per the public trust. Likewise, this with respect for the role that the AZ Administrative Court is obligated to fill on behalf of Arizona citizens across the board."

From Wickipedia

Title 42 of the United States Code (Americans With Disabilities Act) is the United States Code dealing with public health, social welfare, and civil rights. 

- The Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) is a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities in all areas of public life, including jobs, schools, transportation, and all public and private places that are open to the general public.

- The purpose of the law is to make sure that people with disabilities have the same rights and opportunities as everyone else.

                               --------------------------

DISCUSSION

Numerous articles published to date in this blog have made clear that each and every consumer-client (patient) deserving of optimum medical services at The Arizona State Hospital is disabled as per state and federal law. Disability across the board is acknowledged as a potentially at-risk to abuse and negligence etc.  human condition, which is precisely why the provisions of the Americans With Disabilities Act (Title IV USC) dictate federally mandated protections to any person(s) affected as such, be the disability be of physical or psychological concern.

With respect for the seriously mentally ill patient community at ASH, I have furthermore posited my contention that the core cause of the issues most at stake lies in the fact that state officials patently defy the merits of the ADA, at both the state and federal level of application, as a matter of standard practice. Which defies the ADA standard that prohibits "discrimination against individuals with disabilities". It should also be of note that  the given specific disability that all ASH patients are affected by- serious mental illness- is representative of persons so affected who are highly vulnerable to and at risk of negligence and abuse, as exemplified in American history and human culture in general. As stated above, this core dynamic is 100% rooted in the causation of issues that we all know (via the established record) run rampant throughout the ASH operation as a matter of standard practice.

Which further clarifies the basic fact that ASH patients are being denied "the same rights and opportunities" that all Americans are deserving of in terms of established  health care standards.

The fact is that, if the patients I am talking about were not being treated at ASH, be it instead at a private mental health care facility or other like "normal" (non-state operated) hospital, for example, they would likely not be subjected to abuse and associated negligence; likewise, were these individuals not affected by mental illness in itself, but rather by some other type of medical ailment, and being treated as such in a non-state operated medical hospital designed to provide services to physical ailments and so on, they would not be at risk of these issues in the first place.

But, very sadly indeed, this particular community of patients are in fact affected by serious mentally illness, by which they are disabled, and are being "treated" (for lack of a better word) in a state operated facility that has  a well known record of failing to provide reasonably optimum medical services;  a failure that is occurring for no reason other then on the basis of  disability in the context. I came to recognize this immediately when I sought to address the very first incident that violated my rights as an ASH patient, the stealing of my property (medications, no less) literally as soon as I entered Hospital grounds, and the unwillingness of my then primary attending physician, Dr. Laxman Patel, to do anything about it. Likewise, in the ensuing first days into weeks as an ASH patient, I immediately witnessed and experienced first hand clear occurrences of psychological and physical abuse. 

It was from day one as though I had entered the third world.

 Pakistan, the Philippines, or India.

I contend, thus,  that any/all ASH or ADHS/BHS employee directly associated with  the known wrongdoing at ASH- as well as any other state employed persons sharing that status, including staff of OAG- is fundamentally guilty of violating the terms of ADA as they stand.

The impact of these violations on ASH patients exist under the realm of CIVIL RIGHTS, as dictated in the Arizona constitution, and at the level of federal law and policy (the ADA in this instance). The following information which anyone can view in person on the state of the Office Arizona Attorney General's (OAG) website (www.azag.gov/about),  describes in detail the responsibility(s) of this Office with direct regard to these issues as they stand, including and most significantly with respect for the civil rights of each and every ASH patient, on the basis of disability.

The Attorney General's Office represents and provides legal advice to most State agencies; enforces consumer protection and civil rights laws; and prosecutes criminals charged with complex financial crimes and certain conspiracies involving illegal drugs.

It is likewise the responsibility of the OAG to investigate and bring to accountability any state employed individuals willfully engaged in crime across the board. I contend that those persons directly associated with the substandard operation of ASH do as a matter of plain fact fall under this area of OAG overall responsibility(s), as exemplified on the same website, below:

The Attorney General’s Office has jurisdiction over Arizona's Consumer Fraud Act, white collar crime, organized crime, public corruption, environmental laws, civil rights laws, and crimes committed in more than one county. Additionally, this Office prosecutes cases normally handled by county attorneys when they have a conflict.

How might we more accurately characterize the criminal nature of the ASH operation then as being a bright line example of "white collar crime, organized crime (ASH doctors and administrators, and associated ADHS/BHS officials),  public corruption ("" " "" " "" again), acting thus as a core causation for abuses and violations of “civil rights laws.”

I have never in my 54 years of life (before and after my time at ASH) been so graphically exposed to grossly inhumane depravity then I was when I hospitalized at ASH. I have said before that my admission to ASH and my immediate experiences as an ASH patient felt like entering a third world country. (I have in fact spent time in several such nations)Knowing as I did then as a patient at ASH, and as I more greatly realize today, how greatly unlawful these issues are, I am again compelled to urge not only Mark Brnovich to take immediate action on behalf of the client-consumers (patients) at ASH, but also Arizona's lawmakers and their associates in the Arizona judiciary.

Anything less is a direct and overt breach of the public trust. It is this simply. It is this critical. It is this bad.

IN CLOSING

 
I have little if anything to add at the moment. But I can share a funny enough story about my interactions with Joel Rudd.
 
In attempting to cloud my character and credibility when he was serving as ASH's legal counsel during the third of four hearings that I filed with the AZ Administrative, Rudd pointedly asked me, "Do you ever use profanity?"

To which I replied, "Not terribly often." 

He then asked, "Do you ever use the term rat bastard?"

I could only chuckle at that one, and stated, "Yes, I admit that I do use that in my writing. But I can't really take credit for the it. I stole it from Hunter Thompson."

That said. In recent days, the staff of PJ Reed The Arizona State Hospital and Patient Abuse have noted marked reader interest (spikes) in some of my older articles specific to the role that the Arizona Attorney General is required to play in addressing the issues at ASH as they still stand today. Thus compelling me to draft the these two most recent articles. All we can actually hope for is meaningful reaction and response outside of such reader interest. As such, we will maintain our vigorous attention to any related activities as they occur, and follow through accordingly.

Until next time, then.

paoloreed@gmail.com

Friday July 22, 2016 

I) ATTENTION MARK BRNOVICH, ARIZONA ATTORNEY GENERAL.

As to the The Arizona Administrative Court, and the barebones fact that it is nothing more then a puppet court which greatly fails to serve the interests of Arizona consumers.

INTRODUCTION

FROM THE ARTICLE "First Article As Written. April 02, 2012". 

"But I know better today. For one thing, the legal process circa 2012-2013 mentioned in my original April 2, 2012 article, led to absolutely nowhere in terms of bringing about due attention to the now proven/blatantly unlawful misconduct of ASH administrators; via that process, I came to understand that the entire system, including the role that the Arizona Administrative Court(s) plays in relation to the rights of consumers seeking services from ADHS/BHS, is broken." (See this blog: "First Article As Written. April 02, 2012"; published July 06,. 2016.) 

Indeed, this specific venue- the Arizona Administrative Court- is nothing more then a puppet court designed to preserve the interests of one of our nation's most corrupted public agency systems, rather then those of the Arizona citizen-consumers it is required to serve as per  law and policy.  A venue wherein the Arizona Office of the Attorney General- which formally represents the interests of the ASH operation and other like public agency/entities- has more authority then the Administrative Court itself.

---------------------------------------

      DISCUSSION

 

The given authority of the staff of the Arizona Office of the Attorney General (OAG) in this court setting would not be a problem if, in turn, such staff were not equally corrupt with respect for that office's responsibility to meet the needs and interests of the state's citizens across the board, including the client-consumers (patients, patients' families, etc.) seeking to be provided with optimum medical care at the Arizona State Hospital.

As to the aforementioned disinterest of staff in OAG when it comes to the needs and interests of the greater public in Arizona, no one instance more clarified to me how depraved the assigned legal counsel at ASH, Assistant Attorney General Joel Rudd is, in fact, then when he chose to respond- in this specific court venue- to my allegation that ASH administrators had willfully covered up the escape of ASH patient Jesus Rincon Murietta in order to avoid oversight and accountability (which directly contributed the brutal murder of Arizona citizen April Mott) by stating:

 

"You allege that because of this escape a bad thing happened?"

I raised the issue of the cover up itself because I was the one who reported it to Arizona Republic news reporter JJ Hensley, an act for which I was directly retaliated against by ASH administrators, an issue therein representing the primary issue at stake in this given case proceeding.

And indeed, as illustrated by this Rat Bastard's grossly depraved disregard for Miss Mott's tragic death (said "bad thing"), I am convinced that at least one member of the highly entrusted staff of OAG is continually being allowed to engage in failing to serve the interests of Arizona's seriously mentally ill and disabled client-consumers at ASH. Persons disabled as per state and federal law, who are highly vulnerable to negligence and abuse and who- on the basis of disability- far too often have no means of speaking for themselves, which I contend allows and in fact encourages Joel Rudd to blatantly defy his given responsibilities, in direct complicity with ASH administrators and clinical staff. This occurs despite the shared responsibility of Rudd's immediate supervisor, current Arizona Attorney General Mark Brnovich, to ensure that his staff fully abide and comply with their given duties, as per the public trust. Likewise, this with respect for the role that the AZ Administrative Court is obligated to fill on behalf of Arizona citizens across the board.

Consequently, every time I appeared as a plaintiff in this court and seeking nothing more then equitable justice as per procedure at the level of state and federal law, and related constitutional rights (due process, for example), the actual 'judges' who sat in the five hearings that I requested in that venue were unable and unwilling to acknowledge any element of my formal statements about the misconduct of ASH's assigned legal counsel, Joel Rudd, who- as stated- is in fact an acting staff member of the Office of Arizona Attorney General. In each of the these 'case proceedings', Rudd  was permitted to engage in abject misconduct as a licensed attorney, exercising distinctly obvious abuse of the legal process in that realm of consumer interests; but when I attempted to compel the assigned 'judges' to address this attorney's misconduct, they ALL refused on the basis of the above described authority of the OAG as it stands.

As a citizen with professional legal experience  in my own right, I was nothing less then shocked- even disgusted- by what I experienced each and every time I took my concerns to this court. Because of the basic fact that ASH as an entity has severely disproportionate power over anyone who seeks relief in relation to the substandard care practices and conditions at ASH  via this court, my good faith attempts to report these issues through the state of Arizona's formal administrative legal system were literally disregarded; representing just one more version of systematic censorship that I contend has allowed ASH to function in gross defiance of law and policy, to the direct detriment of the consumer/client/patients at ASH across the board."

It is that simple, it is that critical. It is that bad.

 

IN CLOSING

The Arizona Office of Attorney General (OAG) bears direct responsibility to investigate and bring meaningful accountability with respect for the ongoing substandard care practices and conditions at The Arizona State Hospital, most significantly with regard to the civil rights of the ASH patient community. Failure to do so qualifies as only one more example of state sanctioned discrimination against the ASH patients across the board, and as such, requires federal oversight by the Department of Justice's Office of Civil Rights. 

paoloreed@gmail.com

           
Prose. September 2011. The Arizona State Hospital.


            Me.... This...  Is not about me.

            This is about you.
            But it relates to me
            subjectively,
            and to every other one of us,
            we who came to you
            because we felt we could rely
            on you.

            I... This....
            I come from a long family line
            of high achievers,
            but I realize now,  today
            as though for the first time,
            that mental illness runs among them, too.
           
            So be it.

            You... This...
            is about you,
            all of you as dirty
            as a dead hobo's underwear,
            and you know it.

            You... This...
            I will burn you down,
            I will smoke you out, all of you.

           You... This... It is so large, it is...

            You wound up with
            the wrong patient,
            and you picked the wrong century
            to write shit on the wall,
            and you are not going to get away with it.

           (September 2011)
               ---------------------------------

Following my February 21, 2012, discharge from The Arizona State Hospital, I found this piece drafted in essay form in one of the first journals that I began in order to document my experiences as an ASH patient (the piece today has been slightly amended). As such, my notes at that time, 2011-12, stand as an example of the emotions and associated intellectual responses I dealt with in relation to the presence of grossly substandard conditions at Arizona's sole long term public mental health facility, and the associated harms impacting the patients there. I had not intended by any means for my note-taking to be dominantly focused upon staff misbehavior (and related patient abuse/suffering), this is a plain fact; I was only continuing on with the same journaling I have been doing for the virtual entirety of my life, which I also knew could serve as a form of self administered therapy.

But as it turned out, my inability to ignore the overwhelming presence of patient abuse and the role of ASH administrators in condoning such a critical issue(s) transformed my attempt to benefit from this therapeutic effort into what some of my associates today characterize as embedded journalism. First person, fact based accounting and documentation of issues that would otherwise remain unknown to the greater public. I have mentioned before, that as my head cleared and a reemergence of interest in my surroundings arose, I fell back on my professional, academic, and personal strengths in order to do whatever I could in order to serve the interests of the ASH patient community.

Given that I had little resources in this context outside of writing, and other such textural record keeping (including retaining all copies of formal paperwork- e.g. patient grievance documents and other like correspondence with Hospital and state officials that I compiled while hospitalized at ASH), I thus dedicated myself to rigorous note-taking on a virtual 24/7 basis for the entirety of my thirteen long months at ASH, circa January, 2011- February, 2012.  And I will add the fact that doing so was anything but therapeutic (as follows below). I therein put my interests somewhat to the wayside in order to do the right thing.

Because no one else would. And someone had to.

Nobody encouraged me to do this, in other words. I had to initiate the effort to the best of my ability, on my own, and without giving credence to the efforts of ASH clinicians to turn my eyes away from such issues, be it on the basis of me allegedly being out of line, grandiose, and/or antagonistic in my behavior, or not.
 

Indeed, my first primary attending psychiatrist, Dr. Laxman Patel, who bore the direct responsibility to meaningfully respond to my reports (to him) of staff misconduct, willfully attempted to thwart my awareness of these matters by telling me early on: "Focus on your own treatment."

 
But I was unable to accept that. I hardly even tried, because recognizing the reality as I did, I knew that I couldn't. It was mildly confusing at first. I did in fact question for one hot minute my motivation and associated objective(s). But the presence of disturbingly unlawful staff misconduct at ASH was overwhelming, and before long, I realized the very real need as it stood.

For someone to do the right thing. Because no one else would.

And somebody had to.

So when that didn't work, this Rat Bastard  Patel tried to discharge me, on the basis of ASH not being "the right hospital for you." Suggesting, in the first place, that as an ASH patient I had no obligation or right to so much as speak of these issues, much less turn to him as a source of remedial action; and in the second place, that if I was unwilling to ignore these issues, he would do whatever he had to deny me my deserved services (as a client-consumer) in order to maintain the status quo at ASH, by having me removed from the hospital itself. He did this with no regard for my given care needs, and the fact that I was in those earliest months at ASH still mired in major depression and suicidal ideation. This so called "doctor" would have rather seen me exit ASH and kill myself, in essence, rather then do his job.  

It was that simple. It was that bad. And my experiences in this sense as an ASH patient are anything but unique.  

As such, the presence of substandard conditions and care practices at ASH literally inverted my approach to writing itself and my related intent, effectively denying me the chance to benefit from even my own self-directed "healing" in this context. 

Going through that then, while I was seeking to heal, versus be further disturbed with respect for my struggles with major depressive disorder, was nothing short of hell at times. And no single element of the challenge was more debilitating then the willful attempts of ASH doctors and administrators to deter me; they did this via systematic forms of retaliation and fearful coercion, leading me on more then one occasion to seriously consider committing suicide while there at ASH in a manner that could shock the minds and feelings of my so-called caregivers at ASH. An act that I then felt would relieve me from having to be further sickened by the radically incompetent psychiatrists I had to deal with at ASH, and their lower ranking collaborators in technician and nursing staff, while also- in theory- abruptly proving to them how traumatic their misconduct is, in fact.

For the practices of a publically funded mental health care facility to exasperate the suffering of its client-consumers is fundamentally unacceptable. I strongly feel this way, at least with reference to anyone of reasonable conscience.

And while I am typically not one for grudges, my work to date has been well grounded in my core sense of civic duty and associated responsibility as a member of the human family. I feel no need to make this clear, outside of clarifying the fact that it took my willingness to face the threat posed by ASH doctors, technicians, nurses, and even administrators, once I began openly voicing my dissent as an ASH patient. 

In this specific sense, I suggest that  it will take similarly dauntless-and arguably foolhardy- courage for the ones running ASH, or other like officials directly associated with the operation of ASH, to clean up the environment in the facility once and for all.

I herein again call upon:

Dr. Cara Christ, Director, Arizona Department of Health Services.

Dr. Aaron Bowen, Chief Executive Officer, Arizona State Hospital.

                              
Do the right thing. Now.

paoloreed@gmail.com