OF: Guerilla Art- ASH Style: Patient generated dissent and expression. OF: Friends- Past and Present: Not limited to those outside of the patient community at The Arizona State Hospital, for therein I certainly do have close friends who I will not only never forget, but who I also am fully intending to see again, on my own terms.

I am at a really satisfying point in time today, one in which I can start playing around with supplemental images and other related material that will be included in a developing manuscript specific to The Arizona State Hospital and associated clinical ineptitude and administrative criminality. The images included in this post are directly at the top of the pile, too, for where better to begin than with the patients at ASH, for it is the patients who most directly suffer the worst impacts of these issues, in spite of the fact that they are the sole reason for why ASH even exists. And as to that, the manuscript is now a collaborative project, with a small handful of new contributors from a range of backgrounds and expertise, carefully selected members of the medical community, advocacy networks, and other like resources. What the rat bastards running ASH don't seem to realize, is that there are many people in our landscape who have no willingness to allow this wrongdoing to continue, particularly at a time when our nation is acutely aware of the shortcomings specific to mental health care across the board, as illustrated by our nation's shared gut reaction(s) following a number of very recent tragedies. With ASH in mind, no one issue more clearly meets that pattern of shortfalls than the brutal murder of April Mott, an event that occurred due to the unlawful conduct of ASH's highest ranking administrators.  (see this blog April 12, 2012:  A Modern Horror Story: Wherein the Administrators of the Arizona State Hospital Willfully Put the Safety of the Greater Phoenix, AZ, Community at Risk In Order to Avoid Scrutiny, Leading to the Brutal Murder of a Citizen.  (May 17, 2011-August 30, 2011)

And they are still getting away with it.

Of mountain homecomings and reunion. I am no longer in the deep south. As of last week, I am closer to home and comfortably among long and trusted friends, somewhere high in the Sangre de Cristo mountains, and well west of the Mississippi. I have anticipated this point in my life for several years now, after a much longer period of time during which I sincerely believed we never ever again see each other. The landscape of these mountains also flows to my deepest sense of identity, and therein I am rejuvenated today- magically! But my friends, oh, man, my friends….  There are those times, I believe, when the best evidence of our given character simply has to emerge via the presence of such associations, and I am extremely content with the affirmation that no matter what the circumstances, my best friends (and I) are a family in no uncertain terms, and in this sense, we will never let one another down. (Within reason… I mean, it's not as though I am an ax murderer- ha!). Likewise, the associated reaffirmation of who I am has crystalized, for my best and oldest friends are all proven to be of high character and esteem, people who greatly contribute in good ways to the given landscape around them, while simultaneously caring for their own most personal interests in ways so beautiful that it nearly boggles the mind- until I recall, as though reentering a family room: "Hey! It's just them (him or her), it is my good friend…."  The air clears and I realize that nothing is going on short of what I had always known, not about them, nor about myself. I have never expected nothing less, be it of them, nor of myself, in fact. 

The acuity of this experience has everything to do with the fact that some majority of the primary caregivers and administrators at The Arizona State Hospital do all hat they can to strip their clientele of any sense of self esteem. They do this because they feel the need to establish excessively disproportionate power over whatever semblance of autonomy that the patients' themselves may possess despite the affects of serious mental illness. They do this because they are afraid of the patients, afraid that the patients will call their bluff and expose them for what they are, and somehow destabilize the status quo by which such staff carry on with their despicable practices.

    They do this because they are set upon treating the patients at ASH like animals, which is 100% consistent with the history of public mental health care as is still stands today. This is no secret, and yet somehow they get away with this at ASH, day in and day out. 

These practices can and will deteriorate any given persons sense of identity, and this is something that I can attest to having experienced during my 13 long months of time as an ASH patient. It was undoubtedly the hardest experience I have ever undergone, far worse than the impacts of my own given mental illness, and it occurred in a hospital setting. The Arizona State Hospital, and all that that implies. 

Today then, through friendship and my sense of homecoming... I am granted a seeming rebirth that extends no farther than a rekindling of my own proven character (including my established credibility, which is crucial at this point in my work, and will play a central role in future events specific to this) as it has always stood- but for the impacts of the ASH experience. I was reeling with confusion and disconcert when I initially reentered the public milieu, February 21, 2012, for in the 13 months that I spent at ASH, various staff engaged in glaringly overt attempts to shame me, discredit me, or otherwise attack my good faith willingness to report staff misconduct; and at times it was all I could do to not give in to this pressure, pressure and outright harassment which at times did- in fact- trigger a return of acute suicidal ideation and other elements of my specific diagnosis. This, of course, is standard practice at ASH, and the well-being of the patients be damned, so far as ASH's senior clinicians are concerned. In hindsight and present tense, I survived my ASH experiences because I am nothing before or beyond the strength of my closest friends, most of whom I have known since I was a boy; persons who know me for who I am, and through whom I have the firmest of footholds in terms of remaining strong in my current pursuits. 

FACT: We- me and mine and including my friends still mired there in Arizona's dirtiest secret- are better than the rat bastards effectively running the wrongdoing at ASH, and there is a reason underlying how and why those people do what they do that flows directly from this fact. For they the rat bastards are weak. They are shallow. They are aware of how much They deserve to be held accountability, but it is not possible for Them to realize that. They will use lose in this ongoing conflict, for They are also dimwitted and stupid.

(Disclaimer: In full support of the good people at ASH, I will again make as clear as possible that my wrath is directed at those responsible for ASH's worst characteristics as a public mental-medical health care facility. For there are good people at ASH, and they know who they are- including those who I was blessed to meet. But the rat bastards at ASH have so deeply distorted the protocols that are designed to grant such individuals free and open voice, that should they express any nature of significant dissent be it specific to their needs as staff or in the context of patient rights/interests, the chances are very high that their livelihoods will be put at risk. Thank you to those ASH staff who toil under the pressure of a corrupted administration, simply in order to do what you can for the Hospital's seriously mentally ill and disabled patients. You are priceless.) 

For the time being, I am mostly focused on editing and fashioning a final product of sorts (the first manuscript), which includes meeting with contributors and organizing supplemental materials, as described above. There are several other developments in the works, and it will not be long before my voice is broadcast in a public forum that many, many people will be witness to. More updates to come. Peace and Frogs. PJ Reed. 

paoloreed@gmail.com