OF: www.crazycorycorner.weebly.com Ego, Cory Nelson Style (CEO, AZ State Hospital)

     Cloaking tactics designed to mask or mischaracterize incentives and objectives in the field of big business are generally not something you would think the supervisor of a public hospital would be engaging in. Then again, maybe Cory Nelson, the current Supervisor/Chief Executive Officer at the Arizona State Hospital, is really a angel of some sort, and the above web site was created out of good faith intent. Hard to say, but you can be sure that not one current patient at the Arizona State Hospital is able to access the site, so as usual, the patients at ASH, some of whom have lived there for decades (long before I or Cory Nelson showed up) and won't be going anywhere anytime soon (far longer than I or Cory Nelson) have no voice in side projects such as Mr. Nelson's personal web page (see above); and given that the term "crazy" is as insulting as the expression "retarded" and "subhuman" to those of us effected by mental illness, it is surely a good thing for him. I will just add to this, that as a former patient, I find it personally insulting, as well, to have him parody the conditions at ASH, where any given patients normal life (I am talking sex lives, family lives, and on) is effectively out of reach, by virtue of very real illness (never a laughing matter) and applicable standards of hospitalization; and I will state again with absolute verity, that the only true mischievousness going on at the Arizona State Hospital has to do with staff misconduct and is criminal in nature. Mental illness in itself is horrifying, and for most of us, our sense of connection with the way things are supposed to be is never entirely lost. The self-amusement that Mr. Nelson obviously finds in his position and his related responsibility for others is shocking, at best. As per the norm, at the Arizona State Hospital. Way to go, Cory Nelson. You are a superstar, indeed.  
      Mr. Nelson took over the helm at ASH in August 2011, following a period of 4-5 months of no duly hired supervisor, a period of time during which Jesus Murietta escaped and God only knows what else went on, and a woman named Ann Froio (described in Arizona Department of Health Services information as a "fix-it specialist") played the role of interim chief executive.
       Most patients were well advised of the fact that a new boss of the house was coming in well before Mr. Nelson arrived, and I had submitted a letter of inquiry addressed directly to Mr. Nelson through the administrative office at ASH by July 15, 2011. My intent was to openly share with him the fact that I was very, very frustrated by the state of affairs specific to most of the issues that I have thus far tried to describe in this blog, and that I was on the verge of contacting federal authorities in order to bring some nature of rigorous and meaningful oversight into the situation. My intent was good faith, and the language of the letter was very civil (and, of course, I do have a copy of that letter), but I was still ignorantly willing to believe that the highest ranking representatives ASH admin. had souls, in effect.
       Sadly, I didn't hear from Mr. Nelson until almost 8 weeks had passed, by which time I had been physically assaulted by a staff member on  July 07, 2011; as well as subjected to the unlawful and retaliatory transfer by Mr. Nelson and Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Steven Dingle, of my care and treatment to the most violent unit on the civil (as in civilly committed vs. criminally committed) side of the ASH complex in early September, 2011.
      By the time I did get to meet Mr. Nelson, he was clearly in a defensive posture, and I am certain that his understanding of my character as a patient and person had already been distorted by ASH Chief Operating Officer, Donna Noriega, Dr. Dingle, and so on. But I had already been visited at least once by members of the local press by then, too, and I had lost all faith in the situation, anyway. However, I did make clear to him the first time we first met in mid September, 2011, that I was not desiring of an adversarial relationship and that I believed it would be most effective for us to work together. Sadly, again, he was not interested in that, and chose to patronize me instead, asking me to give some idea him of "what the heck" I was referring to, this despite the fact that there was over 6-7 months of documented communication (and conflict) between staff and me, including administration, on record. So I told him "You're too late," and left him with my basic plea: "At least try to do the right thing, please."
      In the end, Cory Nelson affirmed his role as a supervisor more interested in preserving the image of the Arizona State Hospital than anything else, and referred to my dedication to addressing the sub standard practices at ASH as "prerogatives."  I'd like to believe that he was complimenting my efforts in a roundabout way at the time, but his actions in subsequent months proved that to be far from the case. It was all is to be expected, really. Cory Nelson is not a medical professional, and likely has a superficial familiarity with health care ethics and professional medical practice, at best. As such, in his mind, he is not obligated by his position to put the patients at ASH first, and I have documentation that proves this. 
        Dr. Pervaiz Ahkter, my second primary attending doctor at ASH, asked me if I felt that I was on "some kind of a mission" when I shared with him my deepest concerns about wrongdoing at ASH (this was about a month after he asked me if I was a felon), which made me question at the time whether he knew anything about life itself. It is one thing for a business man like Cory Nelson to be relatively out of touch with health care ethics, but compassion for others is central to the Hippocratic Oath, and it was very unsettling to have medical professionals like Dr. Ahkter, and Dr. Laxman Patel, challenge me whenever I brought up the topic of staff misconduct. Again, I presume that my values are different from men like them, perhaps because of the differences in our cultural background. There must be some reason for why people like them conduct themselves so maliciously. In my way of seeing things, questioning the simple willingness of one human being to look out for the well being of others is evidence of disconnectedness with the basic principles of health care.  

      My thoughts today in relation to the Arizona State Hospital and the very reason(s) for why and how I had arrived in that accursed facility are mixed, at best. I cannot in all honesty say that I received much in the way of treatment during my 13 months at ASH. The conditions at the Hospital more or less aggravated my depression and led me to question the very existence of a facility like ASH, because I realized before long that abuse and staff misconduct are rampant, and if a person can't find safe haven in a publicly managed hospital, where can thy find it? I made all this clear to my care providers, too, time and time gain,but in the end it was a waste of my time. They absolutely refused  to acknowledge the fundamental merit of my concerns, leading me to understand how gravely at risk all of the patients at ASH are. 

        Meeting the many patients that I did at ASH and learning of their predicament, not as mentally ill persons, but rather as persons committed to treatment in a criminally operated hospital, did something to open my mind and heart to new possibilities. For, in seeking death, legitimately, sincerely, lethally, I was seeking my identity, somehow, somewhere; something akin, perhaps, to silent and permanent empathy for other tortured loners like I, at the time; which is something I still do today in seeking to open doors, as a survivor of nothing that I ever felt to be torment, my own mental illness being derived of my most personal sense of identity in the first place, and the effects of moderate  chemical imbalance in my brain. And while I am still drawn, at times, to notions of the goneness and deadness of death, and the related ultimateness (?), I am also aware today of the presence of death in the form of such persons as the wrongdoers at the Arizona State Hospital. Strange, I know. But I am nothing if not cognizant to my own journey in life, and this is what I see today. I have perhaps waited for an identity like this one, for I am a survivor of inhumane torment imposed on me by people who have absolutely no legitimate power or authority to so carry on... Somebody has to be where I am today.

     At some point in my time at ASH, I became a spy. I was not hidden to the enemy, per se', but I did increasingly engage in documenting the criminal conduct of staff as time passed, and I came into contact with people on the outside who brought me materials by which I was able to meaningfully conduct investigations into the things I was most concerned about. At the same time, I was able to establish relationships with the minority of staff members who were willing to assist me, because they cared, and they did what they could to improve my observations of wrongdoing; not much, but enough to get a ball rolling, and I am not wanting to put anybodies job in jeopardy, so they are at present watching from the proverbial sidelines, hoping that things work out. 
      And I have no idea whether Cory Nelson knows what he is doing, or not. I am not really sure what his job is, in fact. I can only hope that he has the insight to identify and acknowledge the best of the staff there, for they are good people and deserve the privilege of their positions and the patients need them; and that he has the integrity to recognize the worst, for they are not morally eligible or conscientiously capable, in fact, of caring for others.

       My attention is still often drawn to the fear that I heard in patients' voices when they described the abuse they had experienced...
       "I am terrified by staff." I heard this from one of the nicest and least violent men I knew at ASH about 2 months after I had arrived, and as we got to know one another over the next 10 months, I learned that his words were not derived of delusion or fantastical personality disruption. He was an ill man who has been at ASH for close to 9 years, and he has to live his life in fear of the one's assigned to care for him, because some high proportion of the staff at ASH can and do willingly and somewhat openly abuse patients as a matter of standard, day to day practice. He knows that he cannot live on the outside, this man, and that ASH is the best that life today has to offer him, and he somewhat begrudgingly accepts his plight with a grain of salt. He warned me, too, when I first began engaging in my efforts to advocate for myself; he advised me in no uncertain terms that the technicians and nurses and doctors and administration would retaliate, and that in his opinion, such efforts are a waste of time. And he was for the most part, correct, of course. To date, that is.
      In my time at ASH, I witnessed and was subjected to innumerable incidents of abuse and related cruelty, and the relationship that I had with the above patient was far from unique. Mentally ill persons are not inherently dishonest, unintelligent, or lacking in character. I know this today. I have spent thousands of hours in the close company of seriously mentally ill adults, and I have to come to understand that they share with me an inherent understanding of what cruelty and abuse looks like and feels like.  Through my friendships with patients at ASH, I learned that the disenfranchised and abused are bound by their own experiences to less immoral than their abusers. It is a simple dynamic of contemporary human survival, and I am also aware that this basic phenomena appears where ever one group of people harbors all the power over another. I have studied and discussed in the halls of higher education. The abused person understands the mind of the abuser better than the abuser understands himself. Because of this, many of the patients cling to the only sources of good available at ASH, and it is between themselves that this is found.
      The very real evil at a place like the Arizona State Hospital is seemingly omnipresent by virtue of the corrupted minds and character shortcomings of the staff, particularly administrative staff, who willingly wield their authority in a twisted and deviant way. It is that simple, really. Pure and simple cruelty, and I have never had a thing to gain in making that assertion. I don't want the attention, I don't want windfall deliveries of cash, I don't want enemies. But the Arizona State Hospital in the condition that it is in today is a dangerous place for mentally persons to be treated. The administrative officials are dangerous the doctors are dangerous, and because of these basic facts, the lower level staff -almost as a matter of necessity- are dangerous. I know these things as well as I know my own big left toe, I attest to my own traumatic experiences at ASH, and I know that any sincerely directed efforts by agencies or organizations not affiliated with the state of Arizona to investigate the wrongdoing at ASH will benefit the patients. Bottom line.
       Any direct characterizations of my concerns that Cory Nelson or any other like person chooses to make will be designed to reduce and distort the significance of these concerns. For men like Mr. Nelson, such things are a matter of professional (business) ethics (as any educated person knows), and by virtue of my willingness to openly criticize the wrongdoing at the Arizona State Hospital, I am in conflict with the true objectives of a man like Cory Nelson. He made that very clear to me when I was still hospitalized at ASH, and I have no reason to believe that the situation has changed.
        
paoloereed@gmail.com